Sassy Summary: Jane Eyre (spoilers included)

I had to write a journal response to the book Jane Eyre in my British Literature class,
this is how it went.

Jane Eyre Response.

            So okay.

Jane Eyre is done, and I’m pretty ecstatic. Charlotte Bronte is totally magnificent, because she spent a lot of time writing over 500 pages of a story about a kind of sassy girl and her insane life. There were times that it was dull. There were times when it was really really dull. But there were also times that I quite enjoyed the book. For example, when Bertha goes nuts, I liked that part quite a lot.

            Regardless, Charlotte Bronte did manage to keep my attention for the majority of the book. At first It was very amusing in an “Orphan Annie” sort a of way, Jane was all “woe is me” and “give me an education!!” So I was all… how sad and then Jane was all “nooo, give me books, GIVE ME FREEDOM” and I was all “girl, you can take my place, I’d totally love England in the Victorian era, I’d have tea and complain ALL THE TIME”. Then once she’s at Lowood it was very Oliver Twist, because teachers were all “BLAR BLAR BLAR” and Jane was all “all the older women took my food!!” But once Jane grows up it gets a lot better. She finally is the big dog on campus and I enjoy the sense of power Jane FINALLY receives! She deserves to be happy, I mean, she lost her best friend and had no family! Charlotte Bronte also goes super in depth about the way everything looks which is amazing for the fact that it helps the story, and because it sets an beautiful setting, but, hearing about how cold the winter were, and how frostbitten her tiny fingers were, frankly got rather old. Then Jane gets bored of Lowood and needs a new job, and she secures the sweetest gig, teaching this little babes named Adele at the Thornefield mansion. Turns out, this totally sassy, charming man, named Mr. Rochester, lives there. Jane then gets super sappy, because she is all “oh I think I love Mr. Rochester, but he doesn’t know who I am!!!” and like “oh why must he love Ms. Ingram! I love him, no wait, I don’t, I’ll convince myself otherwise,” even though we know she couldn’t. In a wonderful scene following, Mr. Rochester proclaims his love for Jane and she is all “OMG HE LOVES ME TOO!” but then a tree splits in half, which is a symbol (of course). So then I was thinking “okay, the story is almost done, what is gonna happen to Jane for the next 200 pages?” But after all their wedding planning it turns out Mr. Rochester is MARRIED TO THIS CRAZY JAMACIAN LADY WHO HAS BEEN TRYING TO KILL THEM ALL! By this point I was like “OH MY WORD, HOW DID CHARLOTTE BRONTE THINK OF ALL OF THIS?” So then Jane is all “how could you, I must leave” and I was all “yeah Jane, do it! GIRL POWER.” Then she leaves and runs out of food because she forgot her silly little rucksack, and then she finds this house and passes out in front of this door, screaming out “I’m gonna dieeee”. Turns out some tool name St. John (sinjin) allows her to stay, so she is all “YAY, I WON’T DIE!” Then long story short, she inherits a ton of money, she splits it with her newly discovered cousins, SinJin was all “you need to marry me” and she was all “no way dude” and he was all “you’re disgracing me AND the church” and she’s all “ainokea.” Then it turns Bertha set the house on fire and jumps out of a window committing suicide and I was all “WTF” and Mr. Rochester looses his sight and his left hand! So by this point I’m all “O.o” and then of course she’s all “TTYL SINJIN” and she hears Mr. Rochester calling to her in her head. Then she meets up with Mr. Rochester they have a Lionel Ritchie moment, circa the music video “Hello,” and she’s all “I’ll never leave you!!!” And then they get married, have a bebeh and Mr. Rochester can see through one eye again. The book then ends with Sinjin all “LORD SAVE ME!!!” and I was all “THANK BIGGIE SMALLS IT’S OVER” but from now one, I can be ostentatious and cite this book as much as possible,

Thank you Ms. Gearen.     

 I hope you enjoyed.
<3
Keep it sassy,
xoxoxoxoxoxoxx

Outfit of the Day:02/27/10

I think you guys need a sasssquatch update:

so 1st thing's first, I'll eat your brains

then imma start rockin gold teeth and fangs

2nd thing thank you ALL for the birthday wishes, I completely forgot to mention it in my birthday post

but seriously

I love you all

3rd thing, I've been having a existential crisis revolving my wardrobe, I want to dress how I like, but I'm scared thats not how adults dress...its been perplexing me for awhile and I'd like your output.

Now onto the outfit:

This is what I wore this fine sunday.

I made this dress about 3 years ago, found it in the back of my wardrobe and decided to work it back into my day to day wardrobe.

It's passed on a pattern my mom made when she was 15.

 I love the fun print, it reminds me a bit of Brady Bunch vomit, which I enjoy quite  a lot.

here is an upclose

I'm also wearing 

these sassy boots, I got them on etsy

they have two tongues but one just fell over.

I like the a lot they remind me of my short stint as a horse back rider,  I that dream died with Black Beauty. :(

I had two aerial critters accompany on my journey today. A blue bird and pink butterfly.

and I'm wearing my usual crazy jewelry! 

and I saw a tiny mushroom on the way home

and my lovely sisters were my lunch dates.

here is an upclose on my makeup.

I use to put gems at the corners of my eyes when I was little

not much has changed.

this was the weather forecast for the week.

OH AND BIG NEWS

I won 2nd place in the states Shakespeare competition

I won this big book, $100 and 2 tickets to a local production!

Oh and in other news,

this creep who called me a bitch last time I saw him just called me.

I pulled out the sass.

Let's just say he probably won't call me again. 

Keep it sassy,

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Event: 18th Birthday Party

I had my 18th birthday party last weekend.

and I'm only writing about it now

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

okay so here are some photos I shall summarize

I brought my instax mini and had a heck of a good time

It was a tea party.

and I thought it was the PERFECT occasion to wear my pink wig AND my line-dancing dress!

purchased from Urbaneccentric

It was perfect size wise, didn't smell like moth balls AND shipped fast!

so I'd give the dress and the seller 5 gold stars!

OH and I found a pack of 100 straws that matched my dress PERFECTLY!

how magical.

(I took many pictures, while waiting for people to come)

And I have to thank my mother for the darling set up.

she is soo cute

The treats were to die for!

we had sweettarts with sweethearts

Tea for EVERYONE!

and peach gumdrops, just to name a few items

These were all the lovely darlings at my party

and this is our 90s girl band photo,

we are all feminists.

and I play harmonica

so despite the fact that we are part of the web 2.0 generation, I believe a 90's alt girl band will happen.

This is my friend Karissa she is cute

then my friends got sassy and hopped in my backyard fountain

I had my very own "watson twins"

EAT YOUR HEART OUT JENNY LEWIS

I also found this paper mache airplane at work

so of course

I stole it

I tell you I'm a wild child and you can't stop me

actually they were going to throw it out

Then like all diva's

I had a costume change.

Into this vintage dress from Catherine's Closet

To be honest, life is too short to be boring

Other fun pictures

We took pictures.

We ran a muck.

We were wild & crazy reprobates.

We are all now diabetics due to extreme sugar intake.

and unlike most 18 year olds, 

I felt like having a day-party, like you do in elementary school, 

I felt like dancing like a spastic ribbon dancer and smelling like strawberries.

I'm not what most would call "typical"

and we ended the party watching Marie Antoinette while devouring strawberry shortcake

I call this photo series "carnage"

Keep it Sassy,

xoxoxooxxoxoxoxoxxoxoxooxxooxxo

Outfit of the Day: 02/25/11

Well hello friends! 

It is friday again! 

HURRAH HURRAH HURRAH!

And this is what I wore.

white collard shirt from American Apparel (new birthday prezzie)

Sheer green shift from Sparkle & Fade ala Urban Outfitters (twas a hammydown from my sister)

Biege belt from my momma

Crazy necklace from the consignment store The Clothes Chick

I got many flinestone's inspired comments and to all of them, I responded in a dead pan tone, "yabbadabbdoo"

I was also told that it makes me look like "an africa mamma" which, I guess works, as long as I can be Lady Smith Black Mambazo  

This was my little pouch.

It came with the Tartan collection from Mac

I never knew what to do with it

so I saftey pinned some shoestrings to it and added a butterfly pin and viola!

as for my jewelry, it goes (from right to left)

-class ring (Jostens.com....but idk why you'd want that, unless of course you're looking for the quintessential item of high-school decadence or a "wear-able time capsule for your finger"....really? )

-"Degas" ring from Betsey Johnson

-Gold heart bracelet, vintage

-beaded bracelet, my friend Linsy's ex-boyfriend was into the "rave scene" and gave me this, I don't wear it for the "PLUR" aspect, but because it perfectly matched my ensemble

-blue knot bracelet a gift to my sister from our friend Kate...that I stole (sssshhh)

-charm bracelet from Urban Outfitters and it was one of those items that I always wanted and she FINALLY gave me! yay~

also I'm wearing a petite-coat from the sale section of Urban Outfitters

and of course, my favorite flesh colored clogs and these cute fishnet socks my lovely friend Karissa gave me for my birthday

oh okay so "story time"

I go into Miu Miu  the other day, now I am a HUGE fan of Miu Miu, but of course, considering I only make $8 an hour, so I'm what you'd call a wishful thinker

so I see this AMAZING headband, its patent leather with a big pink puff ball, I could not find any pictures of it, but you can imagine.

ANYWHO, so I decided to be bold and just see how much it was, I ask the kind worker and she responds with

$455!

now, I don't mean to sound frugal but, HOW IN THE NAME OF BIGGIE SMALLS CAN A HEADBAND BE THAT MUCH MONEY?

so I got creative! 

I found this old sequin headband

and this puffball that was a freegift from some perfume collection

and I hotglued the two together!

Oh also, I was feeling a bit spontaneous yesterday, so I walked into claire's and got a third ear piercing,

and I know its not a big deal

but I feel like a reprobate regardless.

Today's inspiration:

so my art teacher was a bit confused by my outfit,

and really believed my bag was one of those Tibetan bags

she claimed that I look like a "Tibetan baby-doll" and to that, I respond "I can dig it"

My outfit was also very much inspired by the fafi drawings

They are fun, bright and colorful. They are also fancy free, just like me! If only I could draw hearts on my face and have colorful hair

Those are the Miu Miu puff balls I'm talking about

J'adore le puffballs!

I felt like I had the Horton Hears a Who flower on my head all day.

I could've sworn I heard something.

Inspirational friends!

Michelle

She is my little cupcake.

not only does her outfit match completely,

but she manages to make me not want to throwup due to her complete matchy-ness

and that is a feat on its own.

that hat! oi! sooo adorable! Gosh, I need to begin thinking of better adjectives!

everything she is wearing, is most likely from Japan.

KARISSA!!!

she had a hard day. and that makes me sad.

but she looks ADORABLE, and that makes me happy

we had matching butterflies today!

The thing I absolutely love about Karissa's style is that, I've never seen stuff like this before.

She is never "too cool" to shop ANYWHERE, She can find the cutest, cheapest stuff.

She has no specific style, it is just lovely, and so totally her.

She loves dreamcatcher and butterflies

but she is by no means "generic"

she is one of a kind <3

and look how cute the back of her dress is!

oh and can we acknowledge the board in the senior lounge.

I added some fun post-its for this prom thing

I am a reprobate! I am!

oh hey and guess who is featured on American Apparel's website!

ME!

Now I must finish my Mcflurry,

because I'm a teenager

and you can't stop my rebellious ways GOSH DARNIT!

keep it sassy yall,

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo